When you tell people you are headed into Baja for seven days they give you a look of horror. Most would rather burn a stack of Korans in the middle of Afghanistan. My wife asked me for specifics on my life insurance for the first time days before my departure.

It came as no surprise to find these wise world travelers were all spot on. Stay out! Banditos try to shake you down at every corner. The drugs scurrying around the desert outnumber the kangaroo rats ten to one. And guns litter the polluted beaches like land mines.

Yes it’s true, it’s best everyone stay out. There are no Starbucks. Phones don’t work much, if at all. The roads are horrific, a pothole for every grain of sand. The taco stands don’t have Department of Health ratings or walls for that matter. It’s a giant mess.

If you insist on doing Baja, Cabo is the only acceptable option. Or may I suggest Waikiki. The ABC Stores offer great convenience with no hassle.